


Drown

by Starthewolf1106



Series: Once I Had [2]
Category: Spider-Man (freeform)
Genre: Gen, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22698013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starthewolf1106/pseuds/Starthewolf1106
Summary: Sorry it’s so short, I was having really bad writer’s block for this first chapter.
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker, Tony Stark and Peter Parker, Tony Stark/Pepper Pots
Series: Once I Had [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626898
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	1. Rainfall

_Here I come, come to you in the very clothes_  
_That I killed, killed you in and now I know I'm alone_  
_I walk to you, rain falls from you_  
_Can you wash me, can you drown me?_

Tony was just chilling in the compound, watching everything spiral into chaos (like always) when he got the call. 

“Incoming call from Happy, boss.” F.R.I.D.A.Y called, and the other avengers fell silent, eager to know when the baby avenger would arrive.

”Answer it.” Tony said with a yawn.

”Hey, boss? What are you doing right now?” Happy asked, sounding concerned. Tony perked up immediately, on his feet in an instant.

”Relaxing at the compound with the others. Why? What’s wrong?” He questioned, sending a ‘get ready’ look at Steve.

”Well, I just saw you drive up, pick up Peter, and leave. But it sounds like that wasn’t you? Unless you’re messing with me, in which case, not cool-“ Happy started, but Tony interrupted.

”Where are they now?” Tony demanded, his nano-tech suit already forming around him. The other avengers went off to collect their gear.

”I don’t know, I lost them.” Happy explained, sounding more frantic by the second.

”F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Tony snapped at the ceiling.

”The tracker is not currently responding, sir.” Came the reply. 

“Tell the others where I am, I’m going to find them.” Tony hissed, and sped to the nearest exit.

* * *

What seemed like hours passed before Tony reached where the tracker had last been active. It was a semi-rural area, with a few small houses scattered here and there. Peter’s backpack was laying half-open on the ground, next to an empty sports car.

”Tony, come in.” Steve said over the comlink.

”Steve, I found his backpack and the car. No sign of Peter or the imposter.” Tony replied.

”Alright, we’re coming to your location. Rhodey informed May, Happy is with her now.” Steve answered.

”When you get here, split into teams. Steve, you take Bucky, Sam, and Wanda. I’ll take Natasha, Clint, and Thor. The rest of you, keep watch for anything unusual.” Tony ordered, already scanning the forested area.

“There’s nothing here, boss.” Just some unusual energy signals that I can’t trace.” F.R.I.D.A.Y reported.

”Keep searching until you find something.” Tony hissed back. He picked up the backpack and held it to his chest.

_I’ll find you soon, kid. I promise._


	2. Fallen Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song is Drown by Tyler Joseph by the way

_I wanna be a lot of things, so much pent up inside of me_   
_I wanna be stronger, too long I've sat here undecidedly_   
_Planning strategy, half of me knows it's all just a fallacy_

It had been more than a month. How had a month passed, and yet they were still no closer to finding him? The other Avengers had moved on to different assignments, but each still helped wherever they could.

The tower felt cold and empty. The compound lacked life. New York seemed to quiet, despite the constant noise.

 _Where is he?! We’ve searched everywhere, yet we can’t find him._ Tony thought, then shook the thought away.

_I **will** find him, and I **will** bring him home safe. I just need a little more time._

* * *

”Tony, you need to sleep.” Pepper’s tired voice said, and Tony turned to her.

”I can’t sleep yet, I’m so close! I can feel it, we’re almost there.” Tony snapped, then turned back to the maps he was looking over.

”Tony, please. It’s been days. You need to sleep.” Pepper tried again, her voice full of pain.

”I can’t. He’s out there, waiting for me. I need to find him, Pepper. I can’t let him down...” Tony tried to explain, his words catching in his throat.

”Tony. It’s been more than a month. I hate to give up on him, but without any leads or clues, it’s over. I didn’t want to have to say it. I love him like a son as much as you do, and I would give _anything_ for him to return home. But this? This isn’t healthy. There are 7 billion other people out there, people who need our help. Tony, don’t lose yourself because of this.” Pepper pleaded, and Tony closed his eyes.

He knew Pepper was right. He knew, but he wasn’t ready to accept it.

”I can’t give up. Not yet. I’m sorry...” Tony whispered, his voice hoarse with tears.

Pepper nodded, her eyes full of heartbreak. Tony didn’t know if that heartbreak was for him or because of him.

* * *

_Failing miserably, drastically and then I crash dramatically_   
_Into a wall I've hit a hundred times before_

Giving up wasn’t any easier, even three weeks after the fact. Nightmares plagued him; nightmares about his kid dying, and Tony not being able to save him.

”You’re in the depressive stage.” Bruce stated.

”What?” Tony asked. 

“You’re in the depressive stage.” Bruce restated, shuffling awkwardly.

”You were in the denial stage at first, then you entered the anger stage. Now you’re in the depressive stage.” 

Tony snorted in response.

”I wasn’t in any anger stage!” He snapped.

”You literally tore the arms off of a hydra agent.” Bruce said.

Tony had to admit he had a point.

”You’ve been showing signs of the bargaining stage since the beginning.” Bruce explained.

Tony closed his eyes with a sigh.

”I’m going to go get some fresh air.” He said, rising to his feet.

Making his way to the balcony attached to his and Pepper’s bedroom, he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Perhaps some fresh air really would help him.


	3. Thunderstorm

_And yet I still ignore the dark red blood stains on the floor_   
_And I'm back in front of you, Lord, with the blood on the floor_

_Is the blood mine or yours? Don't wanna do this anymore_

It had been two months since Tony had seen his kid. He had torn up the world looking for him, to no avail.

He stood on one of the many balconies of the compound. The place they once called home felt empty and cold.  
Staring up at the stars, Tony hoped that somehow, his kid was looking at those same stars, knowing that Tony would find him, soon. He just needed a little more time.

”Tony?” It was Pepper’s voice. He turned and saw her, her eyes full of tears.

”There’s something you need to see.” She said, and Tony’s heart stuttered.

She hurried away and Tony followed, close behind.

Dread tingled down his spine and curled in his gut. Pepper opened the door to one of the many rooms used to watch videos. Everyone was there, each looking upset.

”We’ve received something from the kidnappers.” Steve said, his voice quiet.

”We haven’t watched anything yet, but the package had blood on it...” He continued, turning his solemn gaze to the screen.

Tony’s heart pounded in his chest as the screen came to life. At first, it was static. Then, a symbol appeared. The symbol was not one any of them had seen before. There were five symbols around a red crown, and Thor’s frown deepened at the symbol. Tony would have to remember to ask him about that.

The screen faded to black again before blinking back to life. There were three men in a room, and Peter was in the middle, kneeling. 

”You probably don’t know me. My name is Bane, son of the Great Morbius. I don’t want your money. I don’t want your tools. I only want one thing: I want you to watch.” The man said, and one of his companions handed him something. The man, Bane, flashed a gun to the camera and placed it against Peter’s head.

Tony’s blood turned to ice. _This couldn’t be happening._

Peter was shaking, he was pale and terrified. Tony wanted to wrap his arms around his kid and protect him from everything that was happening, but he couldn’t; not while _his kid_ was who knows how many miles away, alone and afraid.

The gun clicked, and Tony’s breath caught in his throat. Peter was crying now, staring at the camera with a petrified expression.

“Smile for the camera.” Bane said, flashing a smile. Tony lunged forward, just as a bang echoed from the screen, followed by silence.

It was over.


	4. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry guys, there will be a third part of this story. Stay tuned!

_Back and forth between me and me and who you call me to be_  
_You see a man free who thinks he has to buy a key_  
_To a door but he can't 'cause he's poor and he can't_  
_Fall down anymore 'cause he's already on the floor_

Tony fell to his knees. Someone was screaming, but that didn’t matter. His kid, _his kid_ was dead. All of the light in the world, everything good and pure, had died along with him. May (when did May get here?) collapsed to the ground next to him, and they shared their grief. He was their kid, the purest, best thing in their life.

The other Avengers let out their own wail of grief and despair. Peter was their future, too. Distantly, Tony felt Pepper’s hands around his own, and he sobbed into her shoulders. He could feel her tears, and he could sense her pain.

Tony stumbled to his feet. It was too overwhelming, seeing everyone here, each grieving in their own way, each grieving for his kid. Racing through the halls, he heard Pepper start to chase after him, then stop. He was thankful; he just needed space right now.

He stopped in front of Peter’s room. He hadn’t been in there since his kid went missing, the memories too fresh and too painful. Tony ignored that pain now, and threw open the door. The room was covered in a layer of dust, as it had been untouched for two months. Everything was the same as it was, the room frozen in time, a time much warmer and happier than now. A time when their family was whole.

Something on the bed caught his eye. A hoodie that Tony had gotten him a while ago lay there, and it was clear that it was cherished. Picking it up, Tony stared at it. Sobbing, he collapsed into a corner, hugging the hoodie to his chest. Peter wasn’t coming home. He would never touch or wear this hoodie again.

The realization struck him like a truck, bringing the tears raining down even harder.

* * *

_And his heart is broken and all and this is his scar_  
_But it's warm from crying 'cause he will try nine times_

_To realize nine crimes but he has more than nine lives_  
_So he picks himself up and keeps climbing for the prize again_

“Tony?” Pepper spoke, the way she did all too often now, the way that screamed love and tender concern. 

“The others are worried. We are all worried.” She began, and Tony looked up from the picture frame he was staring at.

”We want you to know that us, all of us, care for you and are here for you. We’re your family, and we’re not giving up on you...” Pepper continued, and the others entered the room. Tony stood, tears pricking at his eyes.

”Please, we love you. We can get through this, together, but only if you allow us to.” She pleaded, in her eyes a silent message.

Tony didn’t respond, and instead wrapped Pepper in a giant embrace. The others smiled, and with tears in their eyes, joined in on the hug.

They were right. They would get through this. He would always miss his kid, and the grief and guilt would always be there. But the pain would fade, and he knew that Peter would be waiting for him when his time would come.

* * *

_Here I come again to you_  
_Just to show the blood soaked through_  
_Through my bones and all I own_

_Is there a way for me to grow?_

Tony stood in front of the grave, littered with beautiful flowers. The sun was shining a wonderful golden glow, and the warm summer breeze rustled the flowering trees, sending petals drifting through the air. Some of these petals landed on the smooth stone. 

There was another memorial for Spider-Man in New York City, but they would never know the true beauty that was Peter Parker.

Sitting in the long grass, Tony let a smile slip its way onto his face.

”Hey, kid.” He spoke, his voice sounding too harsh in the silent tranquility of the forest.

”Hey, kid.” He tried again, softer this time. ”I’m back again.”

“I miss you... but I also know that wherever you are, you’re happy now. You deserve the best that the universe has to offer...” He continued, unshed tears causing his eyes to glisten like moonlit pools.

Tony took the bluebell flower - Peter’s favorite flower - and laid it down on the grave.

”Pepper’s pregnant, you know. You’re going to have a little sister. Isn’t that exciting?” He brushed the petals softly with his hand.

”I know you’ll look after her. I trust you.” Tony said as he stood up.

”I’ll visit you again soon, I promise. And kid? I know I never told you this, even though I really should have, but I love you. I love you, with all of my heart.” 

There were so many words, so many things he wanted to say. He didn’t have to say anything, though. He knew that Peter had understood. He knew that Peter knew all of this, and more. 

“I love you.” He whispered once more, before turning back to the trail leading to the compound.

_I walk to you, rain falls from you_  
_Can you wash me, can you drown me, please?_


End file.
